Understanding Our Core Values

Our March Focus Group looked at the subject of Core Values; what they are, and what purpose they play in our lives.

As usual, we began the evening by considering what each of us hoped to learn or take away with us from the evening’s discourse. Overwhelmingly, we each expressed an openness to learning and the desire to understand more about our individual journeys. How we got to be where we are at this stage in our lives.

·      A greater understanding of what our core values are

·      To learn to remember our core values

·      To understand fully what our core values are rather than just assuming

·      To open the space to look and listen and maybe learn of values we had not thought of

·      To trust one’s own intuition as aligning with personal values.

These were just a few of the expressed intended learnings we hoped to achieve from this Focus Group meeting. One of the participants pointed out, we are not born with Core Values built into us.  So naturally, many of the values we might currently still hold, were inculcated from parents, teachers and people outside of ourselves.  Which is fine if they still serve us, provided we have taken the time to look at them and understand that these things matter to us.  They are not just words, but they resonate with the person we want to be today. Not yesterday; today! Because if they do not, then they are not our Core Values. They may well still suit someone else, but not ourself.

We want our Core Values to navigate our path through life. They need to be with us, through our good times and bad. Admittedly, we tend not to notice them when our lives are sailing through calm and tranquil waters. They are like the invisible salt in the ocean, they are there, quietly buoying us on.  But things change when we find ourselves entering foreign ports, or choppy waters, and we are struggling to stay afloat. That’s when we need them to be our beacons, to bring us safely back to shore. To help us arrive at the decisions we make, knowing those decisions are in-line with our soul’s mission in life.

How we relate to others; the work we do; the person we want to see, reflected back at us from the sanctuary of our home mirrors. All of these daily things are dictated by our Core Values. So knowing them is imperative if we are ever to know ourselves. Otherwise, the converse is what we will be left with. Never knowing ourselves and being at the mercy of others. As Carl Jung said: “The world will ask you who you are and, if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”

And yes, it is courteous, to respect the cultures and beliefs of others, but it is another to be ‘trying to fit in’ to a culture or way of life that does not align with our values. Whether that is because those beliefs have never aligned with ours, or perhaps because they once did, but no longer do so. This will undoubtedly cause a gaping dissonance in our being.  

And of course, in order to recognise that, you must first know and perhaps redefine your own values.

This can be a wonderful way of getting to know and understand your hitherto journey.  By doing so, ‘we can follow the threads of our lives and have a far greater understanding of our unique lives past while, at the same time, living our lives moving forward; after pausing to evaluate how we want to travel forward,’ as one of our ladies so eloquently put it.

Embracing Women's Potential (EWP) came about because Tisiola could find no other group that held the same Core Values as hers when she came to Australia.  And those Core Values and combined mission are represented in the acronym TAHEQ:-

·      T = Transparency and Trust

·      A = Authenticity

·      H = Honesty

·      E = Efficacy

·      Q = Quality

The Core Values of EWP can and will be looked at in depth, at another time.

Over the course of the evening, we had a playful, while meaningful game of bidding for the Core Values we most wanted, and that was surprisingly informative as to where we all were with knowing the values we each wanted to uphold in our lives. As we agreed, if these values were not lived, then they were merely only words.

However, ever the one to play devil’s advocate, I still think it is better to have some words in your moral kit-bag, than nothing. Because they will still call you to account when you fail to live up to them. And, they will always yell FIRE! when you think you can run into a blaze and foolishly think you are not going to get burnt!   

The king himself (Aka Elvis Presley), said something I like very much:- Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them all over everything you do.”  Now that’s definitely a rock I could roll with! When thinking of Core Values, I tend to view them only as; My Compass in this world. My Accountability Angel.  I forget about the fingerprints, and impacts we leave on all those around us because of the way we conduct ourselves, as we travel through our lives.

But of course, it’s not just about me – heaven forbid! Although now, not only do I have to watch the footprint I am leaving on this planet, but my fingerprints too!

Ah well, joking aside, this was another very timely and thought-provoking subject for us all this month and I know I will not be alone in revisiting my Core Values, nor consciously attempting to uphold them even more.

Toodle pip for now

Bella.h.

March 2025